Friday, March 16, 2012

Highs and Lows

**Sorry this post is long. It is also for our baby's records.

These last 24 hours has been full of both highs and lows. As our family know, we checked into the hospital last night. It started yesterday after dinner when I lost my mucus plug (sorry, I may get a bit personal). Mike had left for a service project, and I didn't want to call him because it could still be a day or two. After the dishes, I left for a walk. I made sure I went to the bathroom beforehand. After ten minutes into the walk, I had to go again and let's just say, it couldn't wait. Oh great. But it kept coming. Yay, my water is breaking. I made it home and within the hour, Mike and I were at the hospital. It turned out to not be our water, but all of it was the mucus plug. We measured 4 cm with irregular contractions. Our doctor didn't want us to go home because she was afraid that I would wait too long to come in again. We headed over to the med school and walked on the treadmill for two hours. When we went back, we were at a 5 and having contractions every 2 minutes. The surprising thing is that I still couldn't feel the contractions.

Our doctor admitted us at midnight. I figure that the contractions would start getting stronger soon, so Mike and I went to sleep. Who can sleep when they know that their baby is coming soon. Throughout the night, I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. By 6am, the nurse told us we were 6 cm, but I still wasn't feeling any discomfort. I got up and started walking around, rocking in the rocking chair, bouncing on the ball, and doing squats. They checked me every hour, but for some reason my contractions slowed done. By noon, they were 10-15 minutes a part. The new nurse checked me again and said that I wasn't a 6, but more a 5. We called my doctor, and she came by. She checked me, and with her frame of reference when she checked me on Wednesday, she told me that I was really only 4 cm. It was too early to break my water, and Pitocin would be tough with going natural. We decided it was best to head home. This is what I wanted. I wanted to eat, shower, sleep, and labor more at home than in a hospital.

Here is the low. It sounded like from our doctor that we would be back there this night. I know it is still early, but contractions haven't increased, nor do I really feel them. I just have this fear that our baby will never come. I hate being told things that get my hopes up only to be disappointed later on. I don't deal well with disappointment (my mom told me that most people don't). I love to plan things out, so when they don't follow through, it's hard on me. It also doesn't help that the three friends of ours that were due after us already had their babies. I know I shouldn't compare, but I can't help thinking, "when is it our turn?"

I know this baby will come when she is ready, and I will probably look back at this time and laugh at these feelings. So until then, we are back at square one and playing the waiting game.

5 comments:

Rachel & Darrin said...

You can't help your feelings, this is definitely an emotional time. It seems that these babies never allow things to happen as you plan, but know that it is all worth it in the end. With Logan coming so early and being in the hospital so long, it was much different than I had planned and man, was it tough! But, when he came home it was wonderful, and I know you'll have that same feeling I had when your baby girl comes and you're holding her in your arms. Hang in there!

Dessie said...

I totally understand the 'friends due after me having their baby first... Hang in there- you can totally do this. Be strong- its a tough thing you're going through. Don't discount your emotions. You'll be great no matter what happens! And, yes, it is harder to labor naturally with pitocin... YOUCH!

Elizabeth said...

Katie! I have lived this! And I know, it is HARD. I think the hardest part isn't waiting, it's the fact that everyone else expects you to have already had your baby and you haven't and they wondering when you're getting induced and you tell them you're not and they think you're crazy for going natural, etc, etc, etc! We went to the birth center THREE times before they actually let us stay-- labor took three days! After having been rejected twice, I was pretty down, even though I had been having contractions and had done exactly as they had told me. Then, when I really was needing to go in, I was so afraid of being turned away and disappointed again that I didn't want to go because I knew I'd get sent back. Dave practically dragged me in to have my own baby...

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I truly do know how you feel and I know it is hard and that you are a champion (especially for wanting natural-- it is also HARD, but it is also the BEST feeling after-- you won't regret it!) but I also know that babies HAVE to come and they can't stay in forever! Te iubesc multi!

Nicole and Garrett said...

I'm sorry Katie! That sounds frustrating! I think this is how Carly felt as well. So, by "going natural" you don't mean without an epidural do you?

Megan Potter said...

wow I can't believe nothing happened all week from the time you went to the hospital, and then a week later still had to be induced! You're a champ! I can't wait to hear the birth story, I'm sure you did great! Congrats to you both and little Maggie!