Sunday, December 12, 2010

Me as a Doctor: FAIL

First, this is me, Mike, for all of you out there. I was told by a friend I need to specify this because people are getting confused about when I post vs. when Katie posts. I think that's a bad sign for me; no guy wants his writing to be confused with his wife's. I will try to be more manly in my writing style.

Anyways, so, its safe to say that I am not the most immunocompetent person in the world. In fact, I feel like I'm always on the verge of getting sick. However, Katie is quite the opposite. In the 2 1/2 years we've been married, she has only been sick once, and that was on our honeymoon. No sore throat, no cough, not even a little runny nose...until about 3 weeks ago. I guess even Katie's robust immune system isn't enough for spending every day with a classroom full of ten-year old piles of bacteria. Right before Thanksgiving, she came down with a sore throat and cough.

Now, again, I haven't really seen a sick Katie my whole life, so this was new to me. I think it was new to her also, because she complained a lot. I tried to be sweet to her, but after 2 weeks my patience was running thin for complaining. Last Sunday we were sitting on the couch, and Katie turned to me, her future doctor, seeking medical advice. Here is a brief synopsis of our conversation:

Katie: Mike, I've been sick for a long time.
Mike: I'm so sorry, you should be getting better soon. Can I do anything for you?
Katie: I think I have pneumonia. What do you think?
Mike: You don't have pneumonia. You'll be okay in a few days.
Katie: What about bronchitis? What does bronchitis feel like?
Mike: I'm pretty sure you just have a cold.
Katie: No, I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis.
Mike: You just said you don't even know what bronchitis feels like.
Katie: I have bronchitis Mike. I need some medicine. I'm calling your dad.
Mike: Its 10:30 at night! My dad is in bed. Just relax. You probably just have a cold anyways.
Katie: No, I have bronchitis, I'm calling.

Call to Dr. Matthews

Katie: Ha! Your dad says I have bronchitis.
My thoughts: I stink at this.

Anyways, I expect nobody to be coming to me for medical advice any time soon.